Meet Giovani. Literally the most bad ass turtle in the history of the world. Why, you may ask? Welp, this little guy escaped from his cage, knocked over the heating lamp, and burned his apartment down which killed the other turtle he was stuck in the cage with. Gio here on the other hand is completely safe and sound. Woah. Talk about taking matters into your own hands, huh? Like day after day I'm sure the other turtle would just steal all the food. Or just chill up on the rock getting its tan on and my boy Giovani would just have to swim around in the water. Must've pissed him off beyond belief. So what does he do? Sits there and plots his sweet sweet revenge while the other dude is eating a head of lettuce or whatever the hell turtles eat. This week it all finally boiled over. No more being pushed around. No more sleepless nights hoping to get to sit up on the rock. No more going to bed with an empty stomach. He finally mustered up the courage to just light the whole place on fire and eventually get an entire cage by himself.
So I tip my hat to you, Giovani. Partly because you deserve my respect, but mostly just because I'm afraid you're gonna come and kill me in my sleep. Please don't.
No comments:
Post a Comment