It's literally only Monday and my week is already ruined. Why? KISS is coming out with their own condom line. Apparently, this is the very first use of full color images on condoms.. and they wasted it on KISS? Talk about setting the bar low. KISS hasn't been relevant since like the pet rock was around. It's not like those 60 year olds who know who KISS is even think about using their love parts anymore anyways. I think it also goes without saying that the last thing us guys wanna see when we look down at our condoms is Gene Simmons going down on my chick. No thanks. It's literally times like these that really make me think I could be an advertising guru. I've thought about this for about 3 minutes and I already have ideas in mind that would make way more money than KISS Kondoms ever will. Here they are:
It's a no-brainer that there has to be some Pokemon condoms. Let's get real here. Bringing back those childhood memories while banging some chick would literally make your brain explode. For probably the first time ever, Metapod would use 'harden' and it would actually be good for something. That shit's priceless. Cubone's name has never been more relevant than when he's on the side of a condom. Diglett would look absolutely hilarious for obvious reasons. There's an incredible pun with Muk thrown in the mix too. Okay I'm seriously gonna stop talking about this because I have to copyright this somehow. This shit's golden.
My next idea would have to be to put like a riddle on there or something. Like not all sex is good, right? So what if you get bored? Boom. Condom Riddles to the rescue. Like what could be more entertaining than trying to figure out "What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears?" while you're bored out of your mind getting all sweaty and shit. Riddles are just a much better use of your time, if you're not having fun with something. Lock it up, I'm gonna be a billionaire.
P.S. The answer to the riddle is "anything, he can't hear you!". Love it.
No comments:
Post a Comment