Definitely Not A Girl To Bring Home To Mom And Dad...

Blue Steel, Karin?

It's official. You can cross Karin Mackaliunas' name off the list of girls that I would date. Believe it or not, I'm just not really into chicks that shove 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills, and $51.22 up into her baby maker. Shocker, right? That surprisingly just doesn't really do it for me. Honestly though, let me address two things that I find weird about this story. Yeah, only two.

First off, there are bags that are specifically used to package heroin? Huh? Like who makes them? Heroin dealers have their own brand? Or is Ziploc just close to filing bankruptcy? Where do they sell these things? Have I really made every single sentences is this new paragraph a question? Oh, I have? Is that a big no-no in the journalism world? Oh, it is? Don't care.

Secondly, let's take a moment to really think about what's terrible about what she stuffed up there. Yeah, she hid drugs up in her hoo-hah. I'm really not all that appalled by that though. You gotta do what you gotta do, I respect that. So now let's focus on prescription pills. That's even less of a big deal. Those things are tiny. Moving on. The absolute worst thing I think this chick stuffed her Oreo with is clearly the $51.22. More specifically, the 22 cents. You can't tell me enough words to convince me that there was only 22 cents. She either had .25 cents up there to start out with, or a dollar. .22 just makes absolutely zero sense. What could you buy with .22 cents these days? Nothing. That's why I guarantee that if I picked her up and shook her around, at least 3 pennies would drop out. I promise you.