And now the FBI releases this gem of some dude saying what was found at that Roswell crash. There are legit aliens. I called it a while ago. Don't believe me? Here's my tweet from last week (and if you're not following me on Twitter, sucks to be you).
Yeah. I beat the FBI to reporting that there are aliens. They probably saw my tweet and were pissed so they finally decided to release this little piece of paper. Like has anyone else ever beat the FBI to the punch on something? Pretty sure this is some sort of record. That being said, they're probably reading this right now and I just want to say that I appreciate them as a plant appreciates sunlight that's necessary for photosynthesis.
But seriously, this thing says that the aliens are 3 feet tall. Three. Probably the least intimidating thing I've heard all day. That's literally like as tall as a kid in Kindergarten. I dare them to come after me. I'm gonna straight up laugh in their dumb alien faces all day. Bring it aliens.
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