Apparently "Sprinting" Is Just A New Word For Waddling?

                           


Let me start off with saying that I'm livid at this story right now. The fact that they call this lady a sprinter is not only a complete joke, it's a mockery to the English language. If that was sprinting, then growing up, I was literally the fastest fat kid in the world. Like no joke looking back at it now, I think I actually would've been able to "sprint" 10 yards without throwing up inside my football helmet that was 2 sizes too small. Ridiculous.

People may be like "Yeah but Dave she's 95 years old, that's a heartwarming story!" Bull. The fact that she's 95 and doing this just makes it that much more retarded. Like if she's so old and wise, shouldn't she realize that she should be writing her will or something? Get your damn priorities straight woman.

Oh and one more thing, what's with her doing this entire interview in her little track get-up there? Too busy scooting down hallways to put some real clothes on, Ida? Get real tuts.