Monday, May 23, 2011

Think Of This Guy Next Time You Shop For A New Couch


Why? Because apparently dude was posted up on a Salvation Army couch with his willy and love nuts hanging out. Umm, how is this illegal? I thought Salvation Army was for homeless people, right? So the only people that would have seen Randall's jewels would have been homeless anyways and last time I checked, nothing phased them. They're just drunk, smelly teddy bears when you get down to it. One time I kicked a homeless dude's teeth out, peed all over his face, and lit his box on fire in the middle of the day. Then I put a live ferret his pants while a small group of middle school kids that were on a field trip to the city gathered around him laughing and tormenting the guy. And what'd he do? Asked for a beer. True story. That's why I have absolutely no doubt that something else would have had to happen in this Salvation Army. Like you think people who "shop" there aren't expecting to see an old dude's package? Bite your tounge.

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