Someone Kill Me.

You know on like the week before Christmas as a kid you're dying to know what you're gonna get so you hunt through the house like fucking Indiana Jones dodging whatever contraptions your parents set up so that you don't peek at your presents? Yeah I was totally that kid. I would have probably severed my own hand at the wrist to see what I will get because I honestly wouldn't be able to contain myself in a decent way. Sure enough, every time that I found those fuckers I was just like "oh". Then the week blew donkey dick because I completely destroyed the element of surprise. Life would have been way fucking sicker if I could have just unseen that shit.

And that's how I feel about these videos.

There are just some things no human should ever see. I like having cognitive thinking and all that good stuff but I hope I get dementia within the hour just so I have no recollection of this and I'm not even exaggerating. For the first time ever, I'm completely jealous of blind people who never have to experience something like this. Ray Charles was a lucky motherfucker.