Fuck me. Today has been World Penguin Day and I just realized it. I hate myself so much I could literally cry for days. Penguins are the coolest thing ever put on this Earth. Like they don't sit there and bitch and moan about how they can't fly like those dumb ostriches. They just waddle around or slide for miles on their little tummys. Awesome. I honestly love them so much that at thanksgiving when all the family is gathered around the table and shit and some aunt goes "What are you thankful for this year?" I just shout out penguins. Even if she wasn't addressing me, I'll still yell "penguins." Been doing that for 19 years straight, not seeing the tradition end anytime soon. That story may or may not have been real but you enjoyed it so it doesn't even matter.
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