Big shout out to Bridgette Jordan who just won her way way into my heart by becoming the new Guinness world record holder for smallest chick. The only thing I'm pissed at is the fact that she didn't win World's Greatest Wing Girl. Like can you stop and think for a second about how good of a wing girl this chick would be? Just stick her up on your shoulder and you're good to go. You see a hot girl? Place Bridgette on the bar and have her waddle across and tell her how awesome of a dude you are. Like who in their right mind would dare to ignore a chick that's 2 feet tall? You HAVE to respond to a real-life Jiminy Cricket.
Best part about it? Bridgette is a perfect plan B if you can't pick anyone up. Think about how big your shlong would look when she grabs it with her tiny little baby grip!
Hello?! That mouse looks like a fucking SUV! Sign me the fuck up so my meat stick looks like a train! Call me Bridgette! Help a brother out babe!
No comments:
Post a Comment