My brain hurts. Biggest dilemma of the day, bar none. Should I feel bad for this "Sex Dwarf" for getting the shit eaten out of him by a fucking badger, or should I just keep laughing? Like I'm honestly struggling here. I mean, there's really nothing all that funny about death, and I get that. Dying wouldn't be a good day at all. But I mean when a midget porn star that impersonates a celebrity chef that yells at people all the time on Food Network gets eaten by a fucking badger, you have to laugh, right? Is this a test from God to make sure we're still paying attention or something? Or was he bored so he figured he'd just feed a porn midget to a badger for shits and giggles on a boring Thursday? If the second choice is the right one, how can anyone not be a christian? Like you can't draw up a better God than one that just feeds porn star midgets to badgers for the hell of it. Can't be done.
P.S. How fucking awkward is that funeral gonna be? What's gonna happen, "Diamond Starr" stands up there and starts talking about how good this little guy was when he was fisting the hell out of her butt hole in "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Up Your Ass We Go- Part 2"? Yay...?
P.P.S. Best part about all of this is that I didn't even make up the "Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It's Up Your Ass We Go" part. Our little homeboy here starred in that. Heroic.
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