Hypothetical letter that I would hypothetically send to this dog:
Dear Mr. Opus-
Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I checked it was total douche move to call out your homeboy for raping a chick by sniffing his splooge. Does "Man's Best Friend" ring a bell to you bro? Not gonna lie here if you keep pulling shit like this your title is seriously in jeopardy. I don't wanna jump to conclusions but next thing you know us dudes will be watching football and drinking beers with our trusty guinea pigs by our side. Nobody wants that. So just stick your nose into some other bodily fluid and let us get away raping chicks.
P.S. I think you got some leftover jizz on the left side of your mouth there tough guy.
P.P.S. Do you just sniff, or do you swallow too? Douche.
Faithfully yours,
Dave
Alright seriously though, so I guess the next time I'm feeling the urge to rape some chick I'll just do it right outside of a sperm bank? Is that the lesson to be learned here? Because this guy would be knocked into a coma by all that jizz and I'll be off frolicking around being safe and sound like a motherfucker. Also, I don't even wanna get into a fraction of the details on how they trained a dog to smell jizz like it was a freshly baked home made apple pie sitting on the window sill. Ignorance is bliss on that one. Better yet, why did they even feel the need to train a dog to do this in the first place? Lindsay Lohan wasn't available or something?
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