Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Meet Wang: The 42 Year Old Chinese Firework Maker Who Thinks Lifting Things With His Eyelids Is Somehow Cool And Impressive


NBC News: The 42-year-old fireworks maker from the central Chinese province of Hunan was photographed last weekend performing his signature trick: suspending two water buckets with a combined weight of 9 pounds on plastic hangers hooked to his eyelids for a minute.
"When I first started it was extremely painful," Wang told NBC News about his unique talent, "but after a lot of practice, it's just uncomfortable today."
Among other talents he's developed for the show? Having two men wrap a metal wire tightly around his neck while he talks to the audience, which he says has been in the thousands. 
When asked what his aspirations for the future were, Wang kept it simple. "I can currently hold 4.5 pounds on each eyelid, I'd like to push that to 11 pounds her eyelid."




You know how all those experts go around proclaiming that we all should start learning to speak Chinese and actually learn how to pretend how to use chopsticks instead of just stabbing our food with them, because China is going to take over the world soon? Apparently Wang hasn't. Just single-handedly bringing China's bright, smog-filled future down quicker than the Jersey Shore ever did for America. Like, this dude has a wife and kids, and his aspirations for the future are to hang 11 pounds from his little asian eyelids? Game, set, match- 'Murica. 

P.s. don't even get me started on the fact that this lifting shit has literally nothing to do with his eyelids. He's an absolute fraud that is just hanging it off his face bone. 

P.p.s. It's one thing to hang things from your eyelids, but it's a totally seperate thing to clap for yourself while you hang things from your eyelids. Loser.

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