I'm No Scientist, But I'm Pretty Sure That Getting An Air Pump Shoved Up Your Ass Wouldn't Actually Make You Inflate Up Like A Giant Balloon..

Title says it all. Don't know the first thing about science except for everything that The Magic School Bus taught me when I'd watch it before I went off to school in the morning. Only thing I learned from that too was that apparently eating cheese doodles will turn your skin orange. Remember that? The little ginger kid who fucking hated going on all those awesome field trips ate nothing but cheese curls for like 14 years and he was straight up orange. I loved cheese curls so much that when I watched that one morning, I immediately shat myself. Top 5 scariest moment of my entire life. I thought I was gonna just slowly turn into an orange mush and die immediately.  I grabbed like 6 crayons and went to town on my bedroom wall, writing out how I wanted to be buried with my stupid orange body. Had some great shit on that list too if I remember correctly. Too bad when I got home my parents made me scrub it all off then grounded the shit out of me. Really made me feel better about my impending death..