Remember That Guy That Made The KONY 2012 Video That Everyone Cared About For 12 Seconds? He Just Got Arrested For Being Shitfaced And Jacking Off In Public

Article can be found here.  When all this shit started, I was just like everyone else. Thinking 'ohhh this is cool, let's all put up posters and save an African country that I know nothing about!', and just like everyone else again, I didn't do shit about it. And then the reports came out that this dude's company, Invisible Children was bullshit and he was keeping a bunch of the money to himself, blah blah blah.

But after this shit not only am I 100% on board with strangling Kony myself, but I'm booking a flight to Uganda (if they have an airport) as I type this. Because at the end of the day, I'm not an easy guy to get respect from. I'm like the German judge in an Olympic diving competition. You have to earn that 10.0, and I'm crazy enough to give you a 6.8. That being said, the one, indisputable way to crawl onto my good side is this little recipe:

1 pinch of getting caught drinking in public at 11:30 AM
1 tablespoon of having neighbors watch you in 'various stages of undress' while you're in the middle of the road, drunk as shit
1 teaspoon of public masturbation
and 6 blowjobs.

Obviously this dude missed out on the blowjobs thing but hey, can't be perfect, right?