The Funniest Video Of An Asian Reporter Screaming On A Slide You'll See All Day

$10 says the World Champion Masturbator was at the bottom. I'd scream too.

Apparently If You Don't Know That Beyonce Is Married To Jay-Z, You'll Get Stabbed By This Guy

Meet Ronald Deaver. The guy who stabbed another dude on New Years for not knowing that Jay-z and Beyonce were a thing. Umm, hello? All he did was stab him? How is this even illegal? Not knowing they biggest couple in the history of couples is a couple should be illegal. The victim should just be thankful that he didn't get castrated on live TV while eating glass. That's me being nice when it comes to what someone should go through if they were as stupid as Mr. Idiot over there.

Adrianne Curry Just TwitPic'd Her Way Into My Heart

Soo, this just happened..

Adrianne Curry, (@adriannecurry) promised that if/when she got to 300 thousand followers on Twitter, she'd tweet a picture of her boobies... and she did. Kinda makes me think of what I would do for 300 thousand followers, but I don't even want to see myself naked soo I'm willing to bet that noone else does. Gotta love the fact that she actually had balls to do this though. And by balls of course I mean awesome body and a railing to lean on. Here's the picture, but with hearts over them because I said so, and anyways it's probably illegal for me to have this up on here anyways but since I love both of my readers, here you go. Merry Christmas, Happy Channukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and happy Labor Day. I think that should cover it.

P.S. Is it bad that I'm really just wondering if she fell off the railing after this? I'll update this if she ever responds to my tweet, but here's proof that I really want to know what happened after this picture was taken. Investigating at its finest.

Brothel In Nevada Starts A "Pimpin For Paul" Campaign Because They Like Ron Paul. I Think Ron Paul Just Got My Vote

If you ever told me that I would be sitting in my kitchen eating nachos and writing a blog post about Ron Paul, I'd probably spit in your face and steal your lunch money. But this has to be the funniest thing I've ever seen. Shit is a minefield of quotes that are solid gold:

"We thought real closely about supporting New Gingrich -- because he's a cheater -- and we like cheaters," Hof added. 


And the quote that has practically nothing to with anything but made me die laughing:

"A lot of them supported Obama last time," Hof said. "But because he signed a bill allowing for human consumption of wild horses... the girls don't want any part of Obama." 


So there it is. Just like that, Ron Paul gained my vote, and Nevada brothel chicks don't like to eat wild horses. The more you know.

99 Year Old Dude Divorces His Wife Of 77 Years Because She Cheated On Him In The 1940's. This Happened.

(Note: this isn't actually the couple in question, but it's probably the couple in question)

This article can't be real, right? Assuming that this story is legitimate and not an April Fools joke that's months late, first things first, fuck the haters on this one. Like this bitch got caught red handed with letters? What does that even mean? Was she olden day sexting? Just tossing out letters to the world saying how she was showing her ankles in her bedroom then wait for like two weeks to get a response because it took the messenger boy that long to deliver the responses? Fuck that. My boy Antonio C. is totally justified here. Divorce that 96 year old bitch and hop back on the bachelor lifestyle for the 6 months that he has left. Power move.