How Bad Would You Want Your Prom To Be Catered By Prisoners?

Apparently, a principal in Colorado thinks it's a good idea to have prisoners cater their High School prom. Uh.. hi? Does he know how to spell "rape" and "molestation"? I literally wouldn't even go to this prom. And if I did, I would come with a brown paper bag filled with my Mom's Leftovers (see what I did there?!). No way anyone is getting within 13 feet of the food, unless the dance floor overflows and people have no choice but to bump and grind right in front of the salad bar.

How many liters of semen will be in the food too? Like over 40, right? Stories like these make me glad I'm not a hot girl. The last thing I would want if I were a hot chick was to have a handful of prisoners watching my every move at prom. Just staring me down in my $400 dress like a hawk eyeing a mouse. Like you know they're gonna get off to this shit too. It'll be like Christmas for these guys. Except the Christmas tree are high school girls, and they don't get to unwrap the presents.

Where Are They Now: Steve Irwin

Still dead.

Is It Too Late To Sign Up For This "Pole Dancing For Jesus" Class?

Let's face some facts here. I go to Gordon. Fact. I need a physical education credit of some sort. Fact. I probably can't even do this. Fact. I don't care that I can't do it because I'll be doing it next semester, whether or not I actually get credit for it. Hopefully fact.

Nah but seriously, this is dumb. Like what's next? Chicks just standing on the dimly-lit street corner at night for their "services" and calling it Christtitution? Like are they trying to sneak one past God here? It kinda seems like that, right? Pretty sure last time I checked God kept his tabs on things like this though, so good try ladies, but have fun pole dancing for El Diablo for eternity!

Creation Of The Day

Cupcake Castle. Complete with moat, and drawbridge.

What I Do Instead Of Homework:

I don't think I could like these commercials any more than I already do. Literally brightens up my day. Skittles is just running shit in the ad industry, and the creepy cat guy at the end of the first video is the icing on the cake. Give whoever thought this up a raise, and then I'm going to make them my best friend.