Swag

Literally the only word I could come close to describe this waving bear was swag. Because call me old fashioned, but I've watched enough Animal Planet to know that in the animal kingdom, once an animal waves, it's game over. Fucking check mate. I've never been more confident when I say that I'm 100% sure this brown bear went to town on this chick that waved to him. Probably chased down the car, forced the dude to stop, grabbed the chick, and made sweet, sweet love. And nine months later.. Chewbacca was born.

Dude That Got A Sneak Peek At Lindsay Lohan's New Playboy Spread Gives Us The Scouting Report

So here's the scouting report that I just so happened to find:
"They're, um, just okay. Yet another stab at the Marilyn Monroe cliche by the folks at the Bunny U.S.A. Definitely see Lilo's full frontal knockers, ripe, and busty, although air-brushy also comes to mind for much of this. There is no full-frontal, rather tame for a 'nude shoot', which apparently was re-shot after Hef got ugly wind of the first set of photos. Overall, is it worth the reported $1 million payout to Lindsay Lohan? Well, I'm sure her attorneys who are finally getting paid would say yes. As for the few bucks you'd need to have your own personal copy, I'd say, if you're still a Lindsay Lohan fan, get it. If not, meh."


Bam. Honestly I can't believe there hasn't been more things like this when it comes to Playboy. Like you litterally can't shut film critics up, right? And noone even listens to them anyway. So my questions are, how in the world is it bit someone's job give every guy out there a scouting report of boobs and butts, and where the hell do I sign up for that job?! Sounds like an okay gig to me.

Albert Pujols Puts Full Page Ad In The St. Louis Post-Dispatch Thanking The City And Fans. It's Nicer And Sweeter Than The One LeBron Didn't Do.

Click it if you want to read it for yourself

So I'm trying to add some spice into Mom's Leftovers by throwing in some sports poop. I know you ladies won't appreciate it as much as the men do, but hey, it's cool because I love you girls more.

So when I saw this picture tweeted of Albert Pujols' ad put out in a Saint Louis newspaper, I wasn't surprised. From what I hear, Pujols has always been a genuinely nice guy. Hell, even from watching him goof around during the All Star games and Home Run Derby with his kids close by. I know I don't have much to base it on, but for what it's worth, I think Pujols is a pretty nice guy. The thing that pissed me off was the fact that LeBron didn't do this. I know, I know, LeBron has been in Miami for about a year now, but still. It's kinda bullshit. 

Albert didn't really owe the Cardinals, or even the city of St. Louis anything. Yes, he spent 11 years of his career there, but still. In retrospect, if anything, the city owes him the world. Enter Lebron. Born in raised in the same exact state as the city that drafted, and coveted him. Once his contract ended, he shopped himself to other teams around the NBA who would want his services. Not mad at him for that, at all. Dude has insane talent, and deserves to go wherever he wanted to go. Totally fine. The way he did it though, was ridiculous. He held a one-hour special on ESPN just to announce where he was going to sign. Made it a giant heap of hooplah just to get attention. 

With all this shit happening this week with the NBA, it's easy to say that it's messed up, and I think LeBron is a metaphor for that league itself. The commissioner is a power-tripping joke. And small market teams aren't going to have a chance to compete in the next few years, much because of the trend that LeBron himself started in the first place. But as much as LeBron mirrors his sport, Pujols exemplifies baseball just as much. He was an absolute class act as he closed the door on his chapter in St. Louis. Although Pujols took a huge deal, getting 10 years, and $250 million from Anaheim, he did it the right way. 

It's nice to see professionals acting like professionals for a change. Just sucks that acts like Pujols' aren't as common as they should be.

At Least The Celtics Potential Starting Center This Season Has An Awesome Soundtrack To His Mixtape!

Obviously everyone and their mother knows about how the Chris Paul trade to the Lakers was nixed last night by commissioner David Stern, which pretty much means nobody can trade for Paul, which includes the Celtics. The NBA is a joke. Anyways, who needs Chris Paul when you have rumors of picking up my boy Kwame Brown?! Dude has so much swag, he doesn't even need the normal hip-hop soundtrack for the video that showcases his talents. Nah, fuck that. He uses Liz Phair! Brought a whole new level to gangstability! Tell 'em, Kwame!

Seriously though if this jamoke is wearing a Celtics uniform on Christmas day, I might shoot a young child.

Did You Hear The One Where A Kid Was In A Charity Event Called "Shop With A Cop" But Decided It Was A Good Idea To Steal $600 Worth Of Stuff Until He Promptly Got Caught By All The Police That Were Around?

Apparently this dude Timothy Clark did. Usually this is where I go on a witty rant shitting on this kid for shoving a bunch of random video game stuff into his shirt when he's hanging out with police, but you know what? I'm gonna give little Timmy here a free pass. A free one day, one-time only pass from Mom's Leftovers making fun of you. It's an honor, but only the dumbest of the dumb are qualified enough to receive it. Plus, I feel like Timmy wouldn't understand anything I say to shit on him in the first place. Wanna play Xbox bro?