Bear Grylls Throwing Out The First Pitch At A Dodgers Game Had To Have Been The Least Exciting Thing I've Seen All Week

*I just wanna preface this by saying that this is easily the worst thing I've seen all week, and I've watched every game the Red Sox have played in so far.. so, yeah.*

Talk about a fall from grace, huh? I mean shit, for a dude that's literally been in the special forces, climbed Mount Everest, and is named Bear, this has to be the worst fucking first pitch of all time. Like, lighting the ball on fire using a lighter? First off, if Bear Grylls is gonna light something on fire, the last thing he should use is a lighter. Who is that even supposed to impress anyways, cavemen? He should've stuck to his roots here and just pissed all over the ball, caught a poisonous snake with his teeth, made mittens out of said snake's skin, peed all over his new mittens, and then light shit on fire. What a joke.