What I Do Instead Of Homework:

I don't think I could like these commercials any more than I already do. Literally brightens up my day. Skittles is just running shit in the ad industry, and the creepy cat guy at the end of the first video is the icing on the cake. Give whoever thought this up a raise, and then I'm going to make them my best friend.

7/7 Chicks That Sat In The Same Chair Got Pregnant With Boys

Definition of grimey. Like these chicks are saying that it's "funny". What's funny is that they haven't thrown the chair out yet. When a chair gets 7 chicks pregnant, you know you have to blame the one creepy guy who works there. The guy that no one invited to the annual Christmas party. The guy that no one quite knows if he has family or not because they don't have the balls to actually talk to him. Welp, look out. Because he's 100% the father of your baby. He's totally the one putting his man juice all over that thing. You can't convince me otherwise. This dude's gonna run shit in like 20 years too. Probably starting up a small Army of little boy minions to rule the world after years of being ignored. Just him and his 7 kids pillaging villages and jizzing on chairs to keep the legacy alive.

Shits fucked.

The One Plane Ride That I Wouldn't Mind Crashing In

Today's Ridiculousness Brought To You By: breastmilkbaby.com

Click This To See For Yourself

I wish I could tell you that I'm lying right now, but this shit is real. Some company decided to make a doll to teach little girls how to breastfeed. What? I'm not even curious about why they thought it was a good idea, I'm just curious as to why they think this is relevant. Does anyone really breastfeed anymore? Like the only reason why chicks do it now is to flash around their tit and have an excuse for it (also see, Halloween, Mardi Gras, and Spring Break). Legit though when it comes to feeding their pup, they go straight to formula. Fact.They have to, right? No one wants a saggy tit. But I don't know, I guess I'm just weirded out by this whole thing. Like imagine just walking around shopping or whatever and you see a little girl breastfeeding a baby. I'd probably just chuck the little doll across the room and look at the little girl square in the eye and just say "no". Then be on my merry way.

Big Week For Hitler!

          

The daughter of some couple in like England won this little fishy in a raffle. Apparently they didn't realize that it looks exactly like Hitler. I want it. Not because I'm a Nazi, but because I want to kill it. Like why would you ever think of keeping this thing alive? It has a comb-over like Adolf. It has his mustache. Kill the thing already and let's not let history literally repeat itself. It's literally a matter of time before this little guy starts taking over the fish tank. First, he'll start out small by being the only one inside those little plastic castles. Then, before you know it, he's taking the food before anyone else can even smell it. Soon after he'll be swimming in all the bubbles he wants, just bullying the shit out of the other fish. This fish could literally be the nicest fish in the world but I still hate it just by looking at it. 

Then, just a couple days later, this picture pops up of the Hiterhouse. Literally spitting image of the dude. Like before I saw this picture if someone had told me that a house could look like it has an awkward comb over and a mustache I would explode. But nope, totally possible. Like who lives here? I feel like it has to be a crazy cat lady. The kinda neighbor that you just skip over when it's time for Halloween. No one wants Hitlerhouse candy. Eff that. I guess maybe the owner of the house could be Jewish and could just make a complete mess all over the place. Like it seems tranquil from the outside, but inside it's like a middle school girl's locker. Just straight up gross stuff all over the place. But I honestly can't help but feel like something else that looks like Adolf is gonna pop up within like a month, I guarantee it. I just feel like Hitler has little sneaky tricks up his sleeve. Kinda the way I think he would be. Don't be surprised in April when you hear that theres something else that looks like Hitler, because you read it here folks. 

Hitler's going HARD this week, huh?! Wouldn't be surprised if this vaults him as a top candidate for next years Dancing With The Stars. Lock it up. 

Can't Wait To Frolick Around When This Is The Daily Weather Forecast

That is all.

100,000 Pairs Of Crocs Have Been Donated To Japan

Haven't they suffered enough? Just another reason why it sucks to live in Japan. If I just survived an earthquake-tsunami one two punch, literally the very last thing I would want would be a fucking pair of Crocs. Kick them while they're down, huh? I'd probably rather have a corded telephone. Like before the thought of "cordless" was ever even thought about being brought up. I'd play with it until I pass out. I wouldn't even be able to plug it in anywhere, and I'm alright with that. As long as I don't get a pair of Crocs. That would just straight up suck. I wonder if they could get 3 Crocs each though. Because sooner or later they're going to have to put a shoe on the foot that'll be growing out of their forehead because Nuclear Boy is shitting all over the place.

The Second Annual Creation Of The Day

 Meet Banana Sam and Alfred. The two newest births in the Gordon College dining room. They're best friends (obviously) and have been together for about 15 minutes now. They've probably already been thrown out but whatever, they had a good run.

New Segment: Creation Of The Day

Some of you may sit there and ask yourself "what in the world does Dave do for fun since he's at Gordon?", and this my friends, is the answer. Meet Benny. The latest creation that was made about 20 minutes ago at dinner. It sucks I didn't think of this yesterday because we made a penguin out of bread which was pretty effing sick, but check in daily for whatever we end up making every night. I think it'll be a good time but hey, I'm just a "douche bag" so we'll see.

P.S. Benny here is the classic whoopie-pie-corn-onion-for-hair-mushroom eye-a-sausage-eye-and-just-munchin'-on-some-pizza-crust combo. Classic.

The You're Welcome Moment Of The Week

Is this new song from Wiz. It's gonna explode. You're welcome.

Definitely Not A Girl To Bring Home To Mom And Dad...

Blue Steel, Karin?

It's official. You can cross Karin Mackaliunas' name off the list of girls that I would date. Believe it or not, I'm just not really into chicks that shove 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, prescription pills, and $51.22 up into her baby maker. Shocker, right? That surprisingly just doesn't really do it for me. Honestly though, let me address two things that I find weird about this story. Yeah, only two.

First off, there are bags that are specifically used to package heroin? Huh? Like who makes them? Heroin dealers have their own brand? Or is Ziploc just close to filing bankruptcy? Where do they sell these things? Have I really made every single sentences is this new paragraph a question? Oh, I have? Is that a big no-no in the journalism world? Oh, it is? Don't care.

Secondly, let's take a moment to really think about what's terrible about what she stuffed up there. Yeah, she hid drugs up in her hoo-hah. I'm really not all that appalled by that though. You gotta do what you gotta do, I respect that. So now let's focus on prescription pills. That's even less of a big deal. Those things are tiny. Moving on. The absolute worst thing I think this chick stuffed her Oreo with is clearly the $51.22. More specifically, the 22 cents. You can't tell me enough words to convince me that there was only 22 cents. She either had .25 cents up there to start out with, or a dollar. .22 just makes absolutely zero sense. What could you buy with .22 cents these days? Nothing. That's why I guarantee that if I picked her up and shook her around, at least 3 pennies would drop out. I promise you.

I'm Scared Of A Turtle? Yup.

Meet Giovani. Literally the most bad ass turtle in the history of the world. Why, you may ask? Welp, this little guy escaped from his cage, knocked over the heating lamp, and burned his apartment down which killed the other turtle he was stuck in the cage with. Gio here on the other hand is completely safe and sound. Woah. Talk about taking matters into your own hands, huh? Like day after day I'm sure the other turtle would just steal all the food. Or just chill up on the rock getting its tan on and my boy Giovani would just have to swim around in the water. Must've pissed him off beyond belief. So what does he do? Sits there and plots his sweet sweet revenge while the other dude is eating a head of lettuce or whatever the hell turtles eat. This week it all finally boiled over.  No more being pushed around. No more sleepless nights hoping to get to sit up on the rock. No more going to bed with an empty stomach. He finally mustered up the courage to just light the whole place on fire and eventually get an entire cage by himself.

So I tip my hat to you, Giovani. Partly because you deserve my respect, but mostly just because I'm afraid you're gonna come and kill me in my sleep. Please don't.

Japan Tries To Explain The Nuclear Crisis By Using A Poop Metaphor

So by now everyone should know that Japan's obviously screwed since that earthquake. Spiderman's Uncle once said "With great power comes great responsibility". Not sure what that has to do with anything but I just felt like quoting Uncle Ben. How does Japan choose to explain the nuclear shit to its inhabitants? By this "Nuclear Boy" cartoon about a little kid needing to shit really bad. I almost feel bad because when i watched the video I was dying laughing. Like, I know I'm definitely not supposed to be laughing but if anyone out there knows who I am, you know that poop is my absolute favorite thing in the entire world. Bar none. I love everything about poop, and half of these blogs have been written while I'm sitting on the toilet, so you have poop to thank for Mom's Leftovers. Sucks that chicks don't poop though, I think they would definitely enjoy it. Watch this shit (ha) and enjoy:

I love how they just shit (ha) all over Chernobyl here too. Like talk about kicking someone while they're down, huh? "It literally pooped in the classroom, and it was diarrhea and it went all over the place". Russia's gonna love hearing that.

Kiinda Pissed Right meow

What's the deal with the lack of names for my fish? Like obviously it's kind of an issue that I'm the only one who reads this blog anyways but even I can't think any other names up. That's an issue.Give me some fackin' names already.  Mom's Leftover's terror alert has been raised to orange. This is not a drill.

Question Of The Day: Is This The Guy Who Mowed My Lawn Last Week Or A Guy Who Only Graduated Second Grade And Killed His Roommate And Then Drank His Blood?

First off, I'm not racist. I have plenty of Mexicans that do my yard work and they all look like this guy. Just straight up facts.


Believe it or not though, this guy totally killed his roommate then drank his blood. Prime example of how careful you should be when you pick out a roommate. Like I wonder if they were friends for a while or something? Or did they just become roommates from like CraigsList or something? I feel like that's kinda key in this story. If Mauricio here killed his buddy- ope sorry, amigo- and then drank his blood, I think he should probably sitting in an insane asylum, right? Not in jail for 20 years. I like too how it says in the article that he wont get deported until after he serves his time in jail. Huh? Why are they letting him off easy on this one? Last time I checked, jail was way better than Mexico. Bologna.


Again, I swear I'm not racist.

This Squirrel Is The Epitome Of St. Patty's Day

Not sure if squirrels can be Irish  but this little guy is certainly celebrating like he is.

Braves' Minor League Manager Get's Drilled By A Line Drive And Loses Eye.. But Whatever, He'll Still Manage This Season

I can't believe I haven't heard anybody talk about this guy yet. He literally got beamed in the face and is now a cyclops. But does he care? Does he sit in the clubhouse and cry like LeBron after that game last week? Nope. Just give him 4-6 weeks to rub some dirt on it, and boom he's ready to go coach. I literally just did a little mini-experiment and walked around my house with one eye for 4-6 minutes and it sucked.   Hated every second of it. I couldn't imagine living like that for like a week, but this guy has to do that the rest of his life, and worry about managing a baseball team. Kudos sir, kudos to you.

There's A Stinky Rug In Haverhill And Everyone's Panties Are Automatically In A Bunch?

So apparently, Haverhill's city hall has an old smelly rug. People are complaining, which I have no problem with. I hate smelly stuff just as much as the next guy. But literally complaining is all that these people are doing. They say they can't do anything because it'll cost them $100,000 to replace the rug. Huh? What kind of rug could these guys possibly want to buy? Like a rug woven from Anne Frank's armpit hair or something? And don't even tell me it's because of the cost to rip the rug up either. I've spent many weekends ripping out rugs at my family's house and last time I checked all I used was one of those little knives that slide out that cost like $3.99, so I don't want to hear that malarkey. If Haverhill really wanted to stop smelling that damn rug, they could pay crack heads $50 a pop and boom, problem solved. In the mean time, quit your bitching Haverhill. Should I run for mayor?

Pedophile Or Cool Dude?

My vote is that this guy is a complete pedophile, but honestly that's alright with me because this is awesome. Textbook performance for picking up little kids by this guy right here. Gotta love the creative way of picking up children. Chat rooms are soo 90's. Driving around in a sketchy van with some candy is on it's way out. Making giant bubbles on a beach is the future of pedophiles everywhere, lock it up.

Let's Pour Some Out For: Harry Baals

This guy right here is my boy Harry Baals. Yeah. That's his name. Why am I pissed right now? Because the mayor of some town in Indiana refused to name a new building 'Harry Baals'. Could this guy's dignity be stripped down anymore? No doubt every single day of this guy's life was a battle. He'd probably just take joke after joke everyday, until that bell rang and he could unleash his anger at recess. Just absorbing every little remark, making him more and more pissed. Heaven forbid someone was like 10 feet away from this guy, because they'd just get an automatic ass whooping. Like forget any games. Recess must've looked like 'Nam when Harry Baals got made fun of. Just pure mayhem. Haymakers being thrown left and right. The fat kids sitting at the top of the slide with an obvious escape route for when Harry smelled their fear. And now the new mayor refuses to name a building after him? Grow a pair of Baals dude. I hate this mayor already and I hope he gets impeached or whatever it is.

So tonight, let's pour one out in honor of Harry Baals. He's needed it since the second is parents decided to name him Harry, but now that he can't get a building named after him, I think he'd appreciate it. Lord knows he needs it.

I'm Officially Weirded Out

It's literally only Monday and my week is already ruined. Why? KISS is coming out with their own condom line. Apparently, this is the very first use of full color images on condoms.. and they wasted it on KISS? Talk about setting the bar low. KISS hasn't been relevant since like the pet rock was around. It's not like those 60 year olds who know who KISS is even think about using their love parts anymore anyways.  I think it also goes without saying that the last thing us guys wanna see when we look down at our condoms is Gene Simmons going down on my chick. No thanks. It's literally times like these that really make me think I could be an advertising guru. I've thought about this for about 3 minutes and I already have ideas in mind that would make way more money than KISS Kondoms ever will. Here they are:

It's a no-brainer that there has to be some Pokemon condoms. Let's get real here. Bringing back those childhood memories while banging some chick would literally make your brain explode. For probably the first time ever, Metapod would use 'harden' and it would actually be good for something. That shit's priceless. Cubone's name has never been more relevant than when he's on the side of a condom. Diglett would look absolutely hilarious for obvious reasons. There's an incredible pun with Muk thrown in the mix too. Okay I'm seriously gonna stop talking about this because I have to copyright this somehow. This shit's golden.

My next idea would have to be to put like a riddle on there or something. Like not all sex is good, right? So what if you get bored? Boom. Condom Riddles to the rescue. Like what could be more entertaining than trying to figure out "What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears?" while you're bored out of your mind getting all sweaty and shit. Riddles are just a much better use of your time, if you're not having fun with something. Lock it up, I'm gonna be a billionaire.

P.S. The answer to the riddle is "anything, he can't hear you!". Love it.

You're Welcome: Spring Break Edition

You're welcome

Welp, Found My New Haircut!

Courtesy of David Davis over here. The only thing that might stop me from getting my haircut like this is the fact that I might have to stab someone during my haircut like this guy did. I mean to be honest I'm not really into stabbing people. Just hasn't really been my thing. So that could definitely be a problem here. Whatever though, I'm going into SuperCuts tomorrow with this picture of D-squared and getting it done. 

What's The Over/Under For How Quickly The McRunner Collapses During A Marathon?

I'm going with under and hour on this one. Why? This guy is training for the L.A. marathon by only eating McDonald's. What? Has he never seen that movie Supersize Me? Like he's literally putting his life in danger right now, all the while training for something that is possibly the most boring thing in the world. Running for 26 miles? Nah I'll pass thanks. This dude really has to get his priorities straight. Eating Mickey D's for 30 days is bad enough, but you might as well do it along with something that's awesome. Like making a giant puzzle or something. Wait is it weird that that's literally the first thing that comes to mind when i thought of "something awesome"? Regardless, having the shits for a month and then trying to train for a marathon just doesn't quite sound like my cup of tea.

If anyone wants to take the 'over' on an hour, feel free to let me know and we'll make something happen. No way he finds a way to stay alive during this thing.

Who Want's To See "Rango" WIth This Guy?

I would. Last weekend, this Minnesota native decided to go hit the movies at like 2 in the afternoon. No shame in that right? Gotta get that matinee discount. I respect him for that. Unfortunately, going to see Rango completely hammered swearing left and right and pissing all over the movie theatre doesn't really get my respect (sorry bro). And that's exactly what he did. But honestly, this is probably the best review for a movie of all time, right? Screw Ebert and Roeper. Me and Timothy Elvester here are going to be the best tandem in movie reviewing history. If the movie is good, we'll say it was good. If it was bad, Timmy Boy will just piss all over the place. Because nothing quite says "this movie is boring" like needing to pee on things to entertain yourself. 

The Term "Foot Fetish" Has Been Re-Defined

..by this chick. Look out Rex Ryan, Cindy here is the new HBIC when it comes to loving feet. This ex-paramedic loves them so much, she took a foot from the scene of a car crash. Definition of commitment right here. Like there's being into feet, and then there's hanging out at a car crash, finding a severed foot of a total stranger, and then taking it home and hanging out with it. Gotta love her. Good luck trying to explain this at your next job interview though, Cindy (I'm already writing her off as being single for the rest of her life, so she doesn't need to worry about a spouse of some sort). I can literally see it now: "Hi so, um, there is a uh, story about you, uh, taking a uh, foot? From a, uh, crash scene. Uh, yeah, uh want to, uh explain this for me please?" Like there are plenty of things that you can make up some dumb excuse for, but good luck with this one babe. You're on your own on this one. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Ohio Elementary School Has Mock "Slave Auction"

"GIVE US, US FREE!"

In a last ditch effort to try and make themselves relevant in any way, an Ohio elementary school decided to have a mock "slave auction". Woah. I mean I'm not even black and even I'm slightly offended. I mean if I were a teacher I'd just pop in some movie and go flirt with the librarian or something. I guess this shows commitment, right? I don't know, I still don't like it. Growing up I was always picked last for whatever game at recess so I pretty much know what it's like to have been a slave. Like being picked last absolutely blows. Kinda like being a slave. But like really bro? You're gonna treat your classroom like it's the Amistad for a day, just wheeling and dealing out kids left and right, and not expect to end up on Mom's Leftovers? Get real. Welcome to Mom's Leftovers.

Rave Tonight, Which Means You Can 100% Expect Me To Act Like This Chick

Lock it up. I'm gonna tear it up tonight just like this Marina Barrett chick. Gonna just obliterate the dance floor tonight, so consider yourself warned.

Dog Shits All Over Euthanization.... Twice

This little poochy pooch in Oklahoma was a stray, so when he was brought into some animal shelter, naturally they decided to put the little guy to sleep (lame). What does he do? Just kept hopping around the place like it aint no thing. Okay so by now the vets are probably pissed. So they obviously decide that they wont be outsmarted by a little punk who's bitchy mom (get it?) screwed half the dudes in the neighborhood. So this time, when they try to put him to sleep, they just shoot the poison directly into the dude's heart. That'll kill the bastard, right?

Absolutely not. The dog was legit found "prancing around in a trash bin set aside for dead animals." Uhhh hello? If this isn't the coolest story that you've ever heard, consider yourself lucky. Just a little dog, who refuses to believe that euthanization is even real. Then, hops all over the dead corpses of his old street bitches (get it?) as the punctuation mark to this ultimate F-U story.

Big Shocker- The Most Typical Face On The Planet Is A Chinese Dude

Turn on your blinker already bro

So the guys at National Geographic were clearly bored. What do they do? Decide to figure out who the most typical face on the planet is. The results pissed me off. It's not because I'm racist either, I just love Amurrica. Like that fact that China beat us to yet another thing just doesn't make me feel all good and fuzzy inside.

Press play on the video below while you read this next part, trust me.

Wait, I just had an absolute brain blast. So let's think about it real quick. Ladies, do you think this guy is attractive at all? If I had the gay I'd personally have to say no. So let's go with no then. I think that's a pretty safe bet. Okay so this guy is ugly. Now I think I remember my Mom calling me cute once. Maybe. And I certainly don't have the most typical face on the planet. So does this make me super attractive? It must, right? Like this guy is typical of a human. I'm cuter than him (according to Mom). That makes me like 15 times more attractive? I think that's how it works. Pretty sure. BOOM. So just like that, my day became awesome.

Meet The Greek God Of Naval Fluff

Graham effing Barker. A man who's been collecting his own belly button lint for 27 years. Just an absolute trail blazer in the world of "naval fluff". Paving the way for all the bellybutton picking kids out there. Shoving his fingers in his bellybutton every morning and putting the clumps together in jars like a crazy sonuvah bitch. I'll be honest, I'm not sure how or why this guy started to do this, but there is one thing I can tell you for sure. The first thing I'll do tomorrow morning is harvest my naval fluff. Because I'm convinced that this guy is reeling in tail left and right. I mean, how good of a pickup line is, "You wanna see my naval fluff?". The success rate on that must be hovering around 99.9%. Like there's absolutely no way a chick wouldn't chuck her bra across the room after hearing an absolute gem like that. 

Take Me Back To 2001... Now.

Let me just throw out this lineup of some of the top 100 songs in 2001, and I dare you not to make a mess of your undies. Ready? Probably not.

(In no particular order because that would be a crime to try to sort these songs out)
Butterfly- Crazy Town
Hero- Enrique Iglesias
Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse
Drops Of Jupiter- Train
Thank You- Dido
All Or Nothing- O-Town
How You Remind Me- Nickelback
Everywhere- Michelle Branch
Follow Me- Uncle Kracker

And the always classy: It Wasn't Me- Shaggy

Literally this is easily the lineup of all lineups right here. I feel bad for all the songs that I left off of this list, but my hands hurt and I'm a straight up pussy so I don't feel like typing all of them out. But seriously, I can't get enough of each and every song listed above. It's almost like 2001 was my drug and right now I'm in total relapse mode.

Someone help me get a time machine so we can go back to being 11 and frolic around in our capris, sippin' on some Moutain Dew Code Red. Please?

Dear Diary: Today, I Fell In Love.

Welp so there I was, just innocently listening to All Of The Lights by Kanye on YouTube like a 6th grader because my iTunes is fucked up. What happens? Rhianna just decided to show up and personally dance for me. I mean I guess that's cool. Just show up in my computer screen and entertaining me. I won't complain Rhianna. I swear she was only dancing for me too, like trust me I could totally see it in her eyes. Now you may sit there and say "yeah but Dave, 10 million people and counting have watched the same video, you're not special... at all" or something like "she was just looking at the camera lens when they shot the video, not your dumb face". But all I have to say is I beg you prove to me that we're not in love. I dare you. You can't do it. It can't be done. We're going to get married and I'm excited as hell. 

P.S. Thanks to Chris Brown, I'll look like the greatest guy in the world when me and Rhianna settle down and decide to have some little chiclets of our own. Nothing like an ex boyfriend who used to beat the shit out of a chick to make you look good. 

86 Year Old Great Grandmother + Broom, Apparently = No Robberies?

So last Friday night, an 86 year old Great Grandmother fended off a burglar with a broom. What? This has to be the saddest showing of an attempted burglar since 'Nam. How could you ever possibly let that happen? This guy has to be disgustingly depressed right meow. Like bro, an 86 year old chick stopped you from taking shit from her house. With a broom. I didn't even know brooms still existed. This is the 21st century, we have robots to clean up our shit for us now. But I love how this chick doesn't even care about technology. Just give her a stick with some hay attached to the end and she's totally ready to go. Kinda makes me wonder what cool stuff she'd even have in her house worth stealing to begin with.

But seriously now, close your eyes and just imagine how this dude's stay in jail is gonna pan out. Like obviously guys in jail read this blog. That's simply a given. So when they read this, I give him literally 14 miliseconds before he gets jumped and/or raped. And it doesn't even matter if this guy is like MacGuyver when it comes to making shivs either. He could be oozing muscles, but he'd still be the absolute bitch of the jail. Because at the end of the day, nothing quite says 'bitch' like being afraid of an old lady with a broom.

The "You're Welcome" Moment Of The Week

I literally don't need to say anything about this video. Just straight up awesome in every way. I'm kinda pissed I found this because it just blows every other video I'll ever find out of the water.

You're welcome.

P.S. I really want to watch some Band of Brothers after watching this. Like I'm pretty sure my brain would explode.

Let's Pour One Out For Nikolas Galiatsatos Tonight

You want some mice with that?

According to this article, some pizza owner in PA was getting pissed that all the other pizzerias were getting a lot of business. What does he do? Goes into the restaurants, and plants mice all over the place. The worst part about the whole thing is the fact that this guy got arrested for this. I'm pretty sure this is exactly what they taught us in like 1st grade. Do what you have to do to get ahead in the game. It's the American way. If a kid is making fun of you on the playground for not having those sick shoes that light up every time you take a step, slap him around in some foursquare. Or in this case, if you don't like the way someone is doing something, just throw some mice around and get shit done. Nothing wrong with that. Like who gets hurt in this situation? No one. It's the pizzeria's own damn fault for being so tasty in the first place. If you're gonna serve delicious food on a daily basis, why not serve it up for some mice too?

Free Nikolas! Free Nikolas! Let's pour some out for Nikolas Galiatsatos tonight, because God knows he's earned it.