Dude Gets Bored During His Lunch Breaks; Decides To Slow Down Nicki Minaj Songs To See What They Sound Like. Turns Out She Sounds Alot Like A Gay Version Of Jay-Z

This just solidifies the fact that every single thing on this earth is far better slowed down. It's like the whole everything-in-a-baby-version-is-cute thing, except for everything in existence. Wanna see water balloons getting thrown at a Japanese guy's face? Slow-mo. Some dude get hit in the balls by his asshole kid learning how to swing a baseball bat? Slow-mo.  By far the best part about this whole thing is the fact that he named this slowed-down, wiener-wielding version of Nicki Minaj "Nicholas Minjayz". Kind of unsettling that I would probably still touch whatever that creature is in the picture next to the songs, but it's probably just a phase. I mean that thing is kinda hot, right? Definitely a solid 6.

We're Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Grab the Tupperware tub filled with lasagna out of the fridge and put it in the microwave- Mom's Leftover's is back! Back to posting random shit you need to see, and people shitting on me for not being funny! I'm excited. Mase is clearly excited. Let's get to it.

Victor Cruz's Salsa Dance Is Going To Be In The Next Madden?

Madden will never ever be the same. It's not even about the game anymore, really. Just who can do the best touchdown dance. Honestly, football is football. It's a man's sport. People get hit, people get hurt, people get mad. But childish dancing after scoring a touchdown? This is turning the game into a poor excuse for the title of a 'sports' game. Are you kidding me, Madden?!

TAKE ALL MY MONEY! This is honestly the best thing Madden has ever done since they decided to not let Madden say a word during the game. If other player's celebrations are put in here, it's game fucking over. I'm gonna be doing the Discount Double-Check (please don't sue me, State Farm) until my eyes bleed.

I solemnly swear right now that if your Be A Pro player can create his own dance moves, I'll actually play out every single one of the pointless practices that the game has. That's a promise.

Special, Live Look At Me After That Bruins Game!

These African Dudes' Parody Of N***** In Paris Is Almost Too Good

First off, I'm going to give these African guys a break on the fact that N****s In Paris peaked in popularity like 3 months ago. I'm no radio wave scientist here, but I'm assuming that the song finally hit the coast of Africa, so can't fault them there. But all bullshit aside, this video has taught me more about Africa than I had ever known. Completely thrown every conception I've had of Africa and made them misconceptions. Like where are those little kids bathing in trash heaps that I should donate 10 cents a day to so that they die in 4 days instead of 1? Where are all the "Miami Heat: 2011 World Champions!!!!!!!" shirts that these kids should be wearing? They have electricity now?! I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but this video pretty much shows that Africa is just like America, but with a lot less Mexicans.. and I'm okay with that.*

*Lo sentimos, los mexicanos! Yo no soy racista, lo juro. Me gusta que ustedes. Usted tiene una gran comida. Al igual que los tacos!